jump to navigation

Chicken Soup NOT for the Soul… April 19, 2006

Posted by scan man in Life in India, Misc.

M*A*S*H Redux…

A truly hectic week at the 4077th. The flood of work seemed to slow down to a trickle by noon on Saturday. Hawkeye hatched a plan to get out to Tokyo for a well-earned R&R break with a group of friends. The rumours reached Col. Blake who expressly forbade them to leave camp. He needed them nearby. So our friends decided to sneak out to an abandoned village south of the frontline instead.

Hawkeye, Trapper, Duke, Radar, Dago Red, Spearchucker, Ugly John, Maj. Sidney and Col. Flag set out with enough provisions in two comandeered jeeps with Radar & Dago Red – the two teetotallers – as the drivers.

They stopped in the hills a few miles from camp and broke open the vodka and rum. After a few such hiccups, they eventually reached the cottage in the Korean hillside – a resort by their standards.

After a light meal of bread and chicken, they set forth again and emptied two bottles of vodka and a bottle of good whiskey.

The night was variously spent with much singing & dancing & shouting & falling & puking & finally falling asleep (dead drunk) in the 'wee hours'.

As usual, everyone is up early on Sunday, a few bleary-eyed in the throes of a hangover…

Hawkeye suggests a cure.. So more of the vodka is finished off.

Time to have a good breakfast and a nap.

When they wake up after noon, they find that there's no more food. They forgot to ask the nice Korean lady to make lunch.

But these are doctors.. who even on their bad days can outdo the best wizards of Unseen University.

Radar is sent to fetch a few packets of Korean instant chicken noodles which are cooked with water.

While the noodles are being cooked, Hawkeye gets the idea that the excess water would make a good soup. But it has to have his touch. So he strains off the water and adds the remaining vodka.

Thus they have 'Chicken Noodle Vodka Soup'. Definitely not for the soul…

They start back for camp towards evening and reach by nightfall – having finished off some more whiskey that they had taken along as emergency rations.

Closing scene … the 6 AM choppers are bringing in more casualties and our friends are rushing to their usual Monday morning grind….

Author's Note: The above story is entirely fiction. Anyone who gets an idea that it could be autobiographical requires a head scan.

A kindhearted reader, commenting on my previous post had expressed concern about my insomnia and had suggested that I'd have to prescribe myself a little “nightcap” … and I had declined.

That's because I slept for nearly 12 hours on Sunday and dreamt up this story…



1. Moof - April 19, 2006

Dearest Dr. Scan Man … methinks thou wachest too much *M*A*S*H*! ;o)

Seriously, I laughed my way through the entire post! erm… that’s not very serious at all, is it .. *blink*

Author’s Note: The above story is entirely fiction. Anyone who gets an idea that it could be autobiographical requires a head scan.

I think you’re just trying to drum up some business!!! ;o)

I hope you don’t mind … I’m linking to this. It’s just too funny!

2. It's me, T.J. - April 20, 2006


I would think that there could be some sort of short-circuit in the ‘synaptic-like perceptual receptor thing-a-ma-bobs’.

The mere suggestion of a night cap that would cause such an all out binge seems to suggest that there could possibly be a physiological shortfall of some significance here.

The possibility of a biological cause should be explored.

While the account, according to “sources”, may not be autobiographical…

I would also like to suggest the possiblity of the following:

Perhaps it is all wishful thinking?



3. Pattie - April 20, 2006

You must watch out for Moof…she is too funny! I found your link through her. Enjoyed the laugh. Did she give you the recipe for her “Grateful Dead” nightcap yet? Yes, it is a real drink. One of those and you will sleep…like the dead. Great dream, though!

4. Pk - April 20, 2006

You know, I’ve watched M*A*S*H repeatidly and then some ..and for the life of me, I don’t remember this episode! It should have been though!

Minus the col flagg though … he’d have ruined things!

Unless they tied him up to force him to watch the goings on as a form of torture …that’d have been funny.

Where was ferret lips when all this was going on?

5. scan man - April 20, 2006

Thanks all.
TJ, hmm.. there seems to be a problem with your chronology. The ‘night cap’ suggestion was after the ‘dream’.
I’m not admitting anything, but I really wish it was wishful thinking.
Incidentally I’m off alcohol for the next one month (at least).
I saw that you tagged me on the six degrees thing a few days ago. I’m sorry I didn’t take it up. Hope this makes up for it a bit.. It certainly is weird.
Pattie, I’ll wait till next month – if she hasn’t given the recipe to me by then, I’ll ask.
Pk, MASH was first aired on Indian TV about 12 years ago, & I’ve been a fan ever since. A friend & I have often talked about setting up our own still as in ‘The Swamp’. There was a guy pretty much like Col. Flagg and there was a visiting Shrink. Though they probably would have liked to take Hot Lips and some of the cute nurses along, it turned out to be a strictly boys-only romp.

6. Navin - April 25, 2006

Meanwhile, unbeknownst the to group, BJ was stuck with a few miles down the road in a teetotal situation…


7. scan man - April 25, 2006

Hey Navin, BJ really should have dropped in. It would have been worth it 🙂

8. Suresh’s Random Ramblog » Weekend in Yercaud - April 28, 2006

[…] I’d also planned a day in Yercaud since it’d been a while. Vijay, Raja, DVS, Micro, Bala & Shirpi joined the party. Vijay’s take on that weekend is worth a read and far more hilarous than anything I could come up with. I leave it to the reader to match up the characters. (A clue – I always thought alcohol brings out flavour in any food). Needless to say, with all that hetic activity I never did meet up with Navin  & Vidya in Yercaud! Oh, btw, Vijay, Raja & I have given up drinking after that weekend . . . . . for a month that is   […]

9. scan man’s notes » Time Out. - August 17, 2006

[…] Last Sunday I took my wife and daughter on a small outing with some friends to the same nearby hill resort town that featured in an earlier post of mine. This time around it was a nice family picnic. So I have no qualms in posting some pictures of the wonderful guest house that we spent a few hours in. […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: